IRS to Target Homeless "Scofflaws"

CWT - Washington, DC. A confidential Cats With Thumbs source inside the United States Internal Revenue Service reports a new IRS policy will focus on "generating additional tax revenue from citizens without a permanent address or domicile." The new initiative, detailed in an internal IRS white paper obtained by Cats With Thumbs, " will aggressively collect long overdue tax obligations from unreported panhandling, begging, and windshield washing incomes from those citizens who have thus far avoided payment by refusing to maintain a fixed address or location." The IRS source, who asked that his name be withheld, told CWT, " There's millions, maybe billions of undocumented dollars out there in those little bags and paper cups - we didn't go after it before because, frankly, the collection process would have been a little sticky. We think we now have a good operational plan to track the 'street revenue' and insure taxes due are paid"


The new IRS initiative is the culmination of a 5 year Internal Revenue Study on the "migratory and spending patterns of undomiciled citizens in major metropolitan areas." " We've recognized this as an undeveloped revenue stream for some time," the IRS insider told CWT; " we just couldn't get a handle on where all the mobile tax dodgers were hiding. The organizations with the best numbers and information on undomiciled citizens refused to provide us with the help we needed - the Red Cross, the Salvation Army, Catholic Charities; none of them would budge, so we tracked them down ourselves." The IRS plan, operation B.U.M.S. (Bold Undocumented Money Solutions), calls for the recruitment and training of 500 special IRS "Bum Busters." CWT's IRS source revealed details of the plan on condition he remain anonymous: "Look, it's not like these tax evaders were hard to track down; we were just never allocated the resources to do it. Once we got the green light for the pre-implementation study there was nothing to it. The undomiciled are usually in one of three places - on a public thoroughfare panhandling, en route to purchase inexpensive, unhealthy food, or at rest in a predetermined location - usually an easily accessible doorway, heating grate, or storefront."


As documented in the IRS white paper, the plan calls for the additional 500 agents to " interdict and collect tax revenue at the initial transaction point." CWT's source elaborated on the operational details: " These elusive tax evaders don't keep their money in a bank, or at any other permanent location - to achieve the optimum attempt to collection ratio we have to be there when they receive the income. Our agents will be in place on street corners and alleys in major metropolitan areas throughout the United States, watching and waiting. When an undomiciled receives income from a passing citizen or motorist we'll be right there to collect for the United States Treasury."


When asked by Cats With Thumbs if resources might be better used alleviating the "undomiciled" status of the target population, our source explained: " We're the Internal Revenue Service; we collect taxes. If these people would stop trying to run from us and get a house, we'd mail them a form. They are hiding income in small containers where they think we can't find it - all that is about to change. They will pay their fair share like everyone else, house or not."