Dalai Lama Wins Powerball Lottery

CWT-Dharamsala, India. CWT's Asian Bureau reports reliable sources have confirmed His Holiness the Fourteenth Dalai Lama holds a winning United States Powerball Lottery ticket. A spokesman for The Office of His Holiness the Dalai Lama (OHHDL), known in Tibetan as Kuger Yigtsang, informed CWT that the winning ticket for 338 million USD was purchased in October by an American admirer of the Dalai Lama and mailed to His Holiness in a Christmas card. " His Holiness makes every effort to read and respond to all correspondence, " said the official, " but over the holiday season we received so many cards and letters it became impossible to keep up - this one just slipped through the cracks until yesterday."




CWT has learned the winning ticket was purchased and mailed by Virgil Lempert of Quinine, West Virginia. Friends of Mr. Lempert say he was " very impressed " with the Dalai Lama when he watched the broadcast of His Holiness receiving the Congressional Gold Medal in October. According to Mr. Lempert's mother, Angel Lempert-McGillicutty, her son "has never been real religious, but he likes the television." Mr. Lempert is currently incarcerated at the Clamp County, West Virginia Detention Center awaiting trial for several animal husbandry violations - he was unavailable for comment. A West Virginia State Lottery official, who asked that his name be withheld "out of respect for The Lama," told CWT he has been in contact with the Dalai Lama and reports His Holiness " is pleased as punch with this wonderful surprise and is willing to do whatever he can to help Mr. Lempert work through his unfortunate livestock situation."


Indian government sources in Dharamsala told CWT the Dalai Lama is currently negotiating with the Chinese government to purchase Tibet. According to an Indian Foreign Service officer close to the situation, " the Chinese don't really want Tibet, anyway. They wandered in there 50 years ago, killed 100,000 peaceful Tibetans, and have been stuck there ever since. This Powerball Godsend will allow the Chinese to save face and give the Tibetans their country back."



It is unknown at this time if the Chinese will accept the one-time Powerball lump sum payment or opt for the 20 year annuity payout.